Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize