You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
