I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
