You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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