Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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