i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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