Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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