OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
