i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize