i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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