would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
