There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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