Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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