? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh god the rape fog is back!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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