I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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