Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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