actually, I'm a sock model
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
