She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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