the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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