I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
