that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
