I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
