he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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