At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
