Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We talked him into tasing himself.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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