did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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