We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
