we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
