im about as happy as oj after his trial
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
