Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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