Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize