About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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