That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
