the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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