that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Randomize
