i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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