I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
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so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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