We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
