either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
