Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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