The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
