Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
