her vagina looked like bernie madoff
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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