"it" just moved
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
