i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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