I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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