Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize