3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
