PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
