a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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