They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
