nut hugger
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
