He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His nipple licking is glorious
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