last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
