Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
