ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
