Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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