Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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