I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
