My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
