Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
