Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
