Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
