worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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